


Halfway

by winterhats



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Babysitting, I'm not sure if it's angst, M/M, Probably ooc, References to Depression, post-STR, side harutaka because I'm me, somehow domestics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 14:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11465367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterhats/pseuds/winterhats
Summary: Normally it's not a problem to see him afterwards, but this time was different and now he feels different and God, no thanks, he doesn't have enough emotional stability to deal with it.(In which Shintaro keeps trying to do his own thing and Kano keeps trying to get in the way of absolutely everything he does. And there's babysitting).





	Halfway

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this is messy. It's more of a self-indulgence fic, like usual. And it's so LONG, a little more than usual. SORRY
> 
> It's not the first time I've written with these harutaka fanchildren! On my blog there are headcanons on them and also fics, but it's the first time I'm posting anything here with them in it. I don't even like kanoshin that much. I originally wanted to write only about Shin babysitting and Kano just jumped in the picture, sorry. 
> 
> Apologies in advance for any typos.

It's Friday night. It has finally stopped raining and the air was cold and heavy; just perfect to stay at home and do absolutely nothing. People who like going out might be cursing the weather, but Shintaro, oh, Shintaro loved it. He knew the cloudy sky meant no one was going to bother him ever, that he wouldn't be stuck with anyone else but himself. Except, of course–

"Haruka, I swear to God, if you aren't out of this room in the next five seconds I will punch you," his best friend's lovely voice rings from the front door, calling out to your other best friend and her husband, who was busy picking up their kids' toys instead of leaving once and for all. Shintaro knew the kids would take the toys out the second their parents leave, so he doesn't know why he bothers.

"I don't want to leave poor Shintaro-kun in this mess, Takane," he answers with the same excuse, and Shintaro himself doesn't say anything. He wasn't in place of doing so, anyway. "He's even doing this favor for us. It might as well be comfortable for him."

"The guy crashes in our place everyday and he's in need of comfort?" Takane complains. "Just because he's babysitting for us once doesn't mean he's any less of a freeloader!"

Shintaro groans, but ignores the urge of talking back only because she wasn't really... wrong.

So what? They have food and a spare room here, not to mention a clean bathroom and well, clean everything. His own place was the definition of cheap and ugly, and since he's busy not being there, it's not the most hygienic place to hang out either; according to Takane, it smells like a teenager's armpit. Of course Shintaro argues with her each time she brings it up, but he doesn't necessarily disagree.

Yes, Haruka and Takane both believe he'd rather be watching anime at home, and he prefers to keep it that way. He can't let them know he's actually sort of happy they called him to babysit, despite the short notice. He just has to act like it bothers him to keep his aesthetic.

It's only when he sees Haruka hugging the life out of his five year old daughter that he panics. He turns to see the goddamn _two year old_  who's next in line for the hug, and Shintaro realizes what he signed up for.

Fuyuha and Konoha like him. They're nice children. The first one mentioned lovingly calls him uncle, and he's sure that Konoha will do so too once he dares to say anything that wasn't in his own made-up language. And honestly, he likes them too. He's been around since their day one, so it's impossible not to love them but– he's just never been the "person in charge." And that is the number one reason why he is freaking out all of a sudden.

He supposed the short notice to this and his sad ugly apartment didn't let him think it through sooner. Apparently, instead of "could you babysit for us?" he heard "come crash our place and eat our food instead of staying by yourself smelling your own dirt."

"Shintaro-kun? Are you okay?" Haruka's voice pops his bubble of thought, and when he looks at him, Shintaro is reminded of reason number two.

Reason number two are no other than Haruka and Takane themselves. He knows that if he lets anything happen to these kids, even if it's the smallest scrape on a knee, Takane won't murder him, but make sure the remaining days of his life are pure and utter suffering. And he knows she's more than just capable of it.

On the other hand, the problem with Haruka comes from a different angle. That man hasn't really... left these kids' side, per say. Whilst Takane's at work, Haruka does it from home. And at the same time, he takes care of the house and the kids (and Shintaro), so they haven't needed anything like a babysitter until today. Shintaro can see how anxious he is as he kisses them goodbye as if he was going off to war or something.

Even if Haruka's the only person Shintaro can trust will never make fun of him for being the way he is, he still knows that he must know he isn't the best qualified person to be a babysitter. And he can't blame him.

He just doesn't want to disappoint them, to be honest. Seeing Haruka finally leave the kids alone, Shintaro wonders what did Takane do to convince him to have a date. He also wonders how long it's been since they had a proper date. He'd worry about their marriage if it wasn't because the obnoxious amount of time he spends here allowed him to see there was no problem in that.

And to be honest, they deserved a break. From working their asses off while simultaneously taking care of their two children and a depressed grown man.

Shintaro feels his phone buzz in his pocket as Takane takes her turn to hug the kids, so he takes the chance to peek at the message despite he, sadly, imagines who it must be. If it wasn't his sister then it was a certain annoying person. So logically, he leaves the message unseen.

"Okay, you know where everything is," Haruka starts, but he's quickly cut off by Takane,

"Because you're a freeloader."

"Dinner's in the fridge, all you need to do is reheat it," he repeats to Shintaro for like the fifth time, ignoring Takane's comment. "If there's _any_  problem, please call us right away."

"And with that we mean _call us_ , don't try to fix it yourself because you'll probably make it worse," Takane adds, and in some part of his heart Shintaro was hoping for Haruka to tell her to not be like that. But it doesn't happen because again, she's not really wrong. Just too painfully honest. She sighs, and pulls a genuine smile, "With all that said plus all the things Haruka has repeated to you like a millon times, thanks for doing this for us. Even though you're a freeloader and you pretty much owe it to us."

"You could just have left it at the thank you," he crosses his arms, offended. "Just go already!"

"Wait! So I know this is probably not necessary as you may already know it, but it's honestly what I have to do," she begins, ignoring him, and he swallows. Shintaro could see the death threat coming. "If you let anything happen to my kids or my house, I will literally destroy everything you love."

"I know."

"I will cut all your fingers and toes and stuff them in your ass, you hear me? I'm a police officer, I will throw you in jail."

"That's not legal!"

" _Takane_ , stop. Let's go," despite his naggy voice and his murderous wife saying gross things, Haruka still takes her hand and offers Shintaro another smile, "Again, thanks for this."

And bam, they're gone. He sees them through the small window next to the door make their way to the car as they instantly start laughing with each other again. They looked nice. They looked happy. Shintaro feels a tug on his clothes and when he looks down, it's Fuyuha and Konoha looking at him with expectant eyes.

"Mom said you'd let us draw on your face and do your hair!"

" _Of course_  she did."

Showing utter excitement, Fuyuha lets out a "yay!" and jumps higher than Shintaro could believe to grab his hand and drag him to the living room. In the way to the death row, he somehow thinks it's a good idea to look at the message from earlier because, perhaps, it's good news about something.

_Kano:_

_up for a movie night? ( ˘ ³˘)_

Shintaro sends "no." Just no. And when he looks down again, Fuyuha's already taking out the instruments of torture in form of permanent markers. Tonight is going to be a blast.

* * *

 

About an hour later Shintaro finds himself with braided hair and some artpiece on his face as he hands Konoha his bottle, since the boy refused to eat actual food. Fuyuha eats the reheated dinner with her hands because he has given up on trying to get her to use chopsticks and if her little brother can handle eating by himself, how couldn't she? ...Does she even know how to use chopsticks?

Haruka would have a heartattack (points for the joke, Shintaro laughs to himself with guilt) if he saw his little girl messy like that, and Takane would beat him up just because she had a reason to. Whatever. They're not here. He's handling this his way. And you know what? This isn't as bad as he feared it to be.

"When are mom and dad coming back?" Fuyuha eventually asks, nibbling on her food and getting her mouth dirty again. "I'm kinda bored."

"They'll be back, eh, later," he didn't want to say soon or really late because he didn't know himself, aside from not wanting to get her hopes up nor make her upset. "And how are you bored because they're not here? What would you do if they were here that it is so fun?"

"Where did they go, though?" she completely ignores his question, maybe because she didn't understand it. He decides it doesn't matter. "Did dad go to work with mom? It's dark outside."

"They went out on a date."

"Why didn't you go with them?"

He cringes and looks for a way to explain it, "Because going on dates is something only people in love do, I guess."

"You aren't people in love, then?"

His phone keeps buzzing even though he silenced it, and he knows it's Kano being a burden again. What bad timing, Shintaro thinks, as he forces himself to not think of Ayano, "No, I'm not."

Fuyuha goes quiet after that, and he thought that was the end of that conversation (thankfully.) But it seems that she was only lost in thought, because soon, she's back at it,

"What about uncle Kano? He doesn't have a person in love either, you should be his!"

 _That_ 's what she was thinking about? Did she try to think of all the people she knew to come to that conclusion? Why doesn't she get bored of the conversation like she always does?

His phone buzzes again. Shintaro shakes his head, "That's not how it works."

"How does it work, then?"

"You should ask your parents. They're experts at being in love," he dodges the question, and it seems to be enough for Fuyuha because she quickly nods.

"I guess you're right," she says, attacking her food again. Then, she adds with her mouth full, "I sometimes wish they weren't so in love because it's kinda gross."

He can't help a laugh himself, and he'd take a moment to appreciate the comment a bit more if it wasn't for Kano's annoying ass still texting him.

He must be complaining about being bored or sending him pictures of every single thing he sees only to pester him. Shintaro laments the sort-of-friendship he's developed with him, because Kano's the most annoying person alive.

They've been in bad terms for literally years, because he couldn't stand the fact everyone but him moved on from Ayano and somehow enjoyed taking it out on Shintaro, but that's not new. The news is that ever since noticing how much of a dick he was being, he thinks he'll reverse it by trying to be friends with him.

Shintaro, usually, doesn't mind, because Kano now behaves like a coherent person. Things are simpler now. But in moments like this, he cannot stand him.  
  
He already told him he _no_ , so eff off, but he keeps messaging him and Fuyuha's asking what's that sound and if it means her parents are back. Shintaro quickly opens a chat to tell him he's busy, as he tells Fuyuha, "No, not yet. I'll let you know when they're back."

That answer seems to satisfy her, but if there's something she doesn't know how to do, is shut up. Ever since learning how to make sounds she hasn't stopped. Again, Shintaro forces himself to _not be reminded of Ayano_.

"What are we playing now?" she asks, but this time it seems she finished her dinner. Shintaro sighs in exasperation at the sight of her dirty face, but she just smiles. "Can we doodle again?"

"...What about a movie?" he offers, because that's what Haruka does when Fuyuha refuses to go to sleep (which is always) because she falls asleep as soon as the movie starts.

Unsurprisingly, her eyes lit up and she jumps off her chair, screaming "yay" yet again because to Fuyuha, everything's worth of a "yay." Shintaro can only wince when her dirty fingers touch the formerly clean white wall. It makes him think that Haruka's going to be the one killing him instead of Takane.

It's so hard to do anything at all with a goddamn baby in his arms. He's obviously thankful Konoha's not a crying mess or anything but gosh, what an useless creature. Only occupying space. Just like him.

He sits Konoha back on his high chair because honestly chasing Fuyuha with him in his arms isn't a good idea at all. It's also not a good idea to follow her because as soon as she realizes he's trying to reach her, she–

"Catch me if you can!"

Meanwhile, Konoha's godsent. He's around enough to know he never cries unless it makes sense, he falls asleep easily, he stops doing the things he's told not to do. He's a good kid. The only catch is that when he wants to, he can be a little shit. Because right now, as he's trying to catch Fuyuha, he starts crying for his mom.

And Fuyuha gets out of her way to make you miserable, but in the most innocent way possible. Because she thinks everything's a game, and she's just jumping on the couch and Shintaro wants to start crying himself.

His phone buzzes again. He's about to tell Kano to eff the eff off but it's Takane asking if everything's okay and for a picture to make him prove the children are alive. There are also eight unread messages from Kano, which the last one shows to be "BOOB JOB" so Shintaro refuses to open that chat.

He, indeed, craves death.

* * *

 

He can't remember much after all that because his mind had the noble mission of deleting horrifying memories.

The kids had their teeth brushed, they changed into pajamas, and they were currently snuggled up in the couch with several blankets, fast asleep on each other. At the other side of the couch, Shintaro sighs because he knows he should get them each in their beds, but he's _so tired_. As he tries to gather energy to get up, he watches absently the Disney movie no one paid attention to since the kids fell asleep rather quickly just like he hoped they would.

He sent a picture of them when they were still awake, ready for a movie, to Takane so she and Haruka would calm down. Shintaro knows she didn't like the fact that he left her message on seen for like twenty minutes before answering with the picture.

 _If everything's fine, then why didn't you reply right away?_ she asked, but he left that on seen. He rolls his eyes, carrying Konoha to his room as his phone buzzes yet again. He'd joke to himself saying he's popular tonight, but it's either Takane insisting on an answer again or Kano.

It's most likely Kano, as for now Takane's probably busy with Haruka doing God knows what. It's in his second trip upstairs, this time carrying Fuyuha, that the doorbell rings.

Slight fear (but mostly anger) posesses him as he hurries to the little girl's room, wondering _who in the world_  would be here at midnight. Tucking her in, watching the way she immediately hugs her plushie in her sleep, Shintaro unfortunately knows the answer to his own question.

When he goes back downstairs, he can see Kano peeking at the front door's window.

_When will I be released of this hell called life?_

Groaning, Shintaro walks over to open the door and the other man simply makes the happiest expression ever, as if he has been waiting out in the cold for hours. He's frosting the glass with his breath as he turns the keys, and as soon as it clicks open, Kano lets himself in.

No, in fact, Kano's laying on the couch. He came in, kicked off his boots and crashed on the couch. He's also talking. Talking a lot about who knows what, but Shintaro is barely processing that the guy's now inside the house. He's just closing back the door when he goes over to the living room and Kano goes,

"Why weren't you answering my texts?" he puts his feet on the coffee table the same way Takane always does and Haruka hates, so Shintaro walks in the space between the couch and the table to make him put them down. He doesn't. "I was kinda worried."

"How did you know I was here?" he just asks through gritted teeth, sitting down in resignation (because he knew he wouldn't be able to kick him out.)

"You weren't at your apartment so this was the next logical place."

"This house belongs to a family and it's midnight. You're unbelievable."

"Did I wake anyone up?" fortunately, Kano seems to still have some decency left on him because he sounds genuinely worried. Shintaro looks away, but answers with a shake of his head. "Ahh, good. I'd hate to have Ene-chan kill me. Speaking of which, are the parents asleep?"

"The parents are out tonight and I'm babysitting, reason why it was my goal to avoid you," he replies coldly, and Kano lets out the loudest laugh ever, which is quickly cut off by Shintaro's violent shush. "Keep it down! It was an actual horror movie to get them to fall asleep."

"Fuyu-chan, I imagine. She's the antichrist."

Shintaro chokes on his saliva when it's his turn to laugh, but he manages to not be too noisy. "To be fair, Konoha collaborated too. Wait, shouldn't he be the antichrist as well?"

"Adopted."

"Stop it."

"By the way, you look nice tonight," Shintaro feels his stomach stir after hearing Kano's words, and he's sure he should be disgusted. Ugh, how pathetic, has it really been that long since he was last complimented? Otherwise, he's sure he wouldn't be feeling like this. "I see you visited Fuyu-chan's spa."

... _Right_ , he had a doodled face and former braids that probably left sequels on his hair.

Quickly, he tries to change the subject, "A – anyway, what are you even doing here?"

"I was bored. And I wanted to know what was so important that you blew me off," he explains, looking at the tv still playing a movie. "But it seems I won anyway, huh? Movie night!"

"The movie's ending."

"So what? Start it again, I freaking love this cartoon."

"Do what you want, I'm going to bed," he announces, getting up and ignoring Kano's indignated comments. He clings to his leg with _his_  legs and since he's weak and lazy enough to not make any effort in getting away, he falls back into the couch.

"Don't leave me here, let's hang out!"

"I'm tired!"

"So? C'mon, I was kinda looking forward to see you and you blow me off for a second time?"

He looks at the other man as if trying to find any sign of sarcasm in his face, but he finds none. Still analyzing how "looking forward to see you" could be Kano making fun of him, Shintaro decides he's too tired for any of this, "Fine. I'm staying but I'm probably gonna fall asleep here anyway."

"Works for me!"

"But no more cartoons."

"Aw, c'mon, we could watch something else if you're bored of this one," he says, and Shintaro tries to rescue the blankets that ended up under Kano. He doesn't move to collaborate with his doing, and just goes for, of course, the uncalled-for comment, "Look, The Incredibles! We could watch it, even though I watched it like a million times because unsurprisingly, that was one of my sister's fave movies."

Kano makes some sort of pause as Shintaro doesn't even blink at the mention of Ayano, as if he was waiting for him to break down or something. Of course he doesn't; because he wants to be kind to himself and because it's not something they need right now. It's what no one needs ever, actually.

It doesn't last long, and he just goes back to going through other options of what to watch. Shintaro covers his legs with the blankets and sinks himself in the couch. He wouldn't think anything else about it, but he allows himself to wonder about Ayano being here.

She would have been Haruka's and Takane's babysitter tonight and forever, that's for sure. He lets out an absent snicker that makes Kano flinch.

"...I know what you're thinking,"

Shintaro rolls his eyes as soon as he hears what tone of voice he's using; all angsty and annoying. Why is he so determined to make it awkward? Yes, he _knew_  Kano was doing it on purpose. He's always doing everything on purpose.

"What _am I_  thinking, then?"

"That if my sister was still alive, you'd probably have a family with her."

"I wasn't," Shintaro swallows, and feels ridiculously nervous because he wasn't even lying. He just doesn't want to let that thought into his head; he doesn't want to think about what could have happened anymore nor let Kano make him upset again. "I was just thinking that... she'd be a more proper babysitter than me."

 _Score_ , Kano laughed and seemed to let go of the subject. "Yeah, but anyone would be a more proper babysitter than you."

"Not everyone," he says, relieved because of the light mood coming back. "I think you'd suck even more than I do, to be honest."

"You really think that? You hurt me."

He doesn't answer, but he lets himself smile. Everything's okay. They're hanging out, kids are asleep upstairs, parents should be arriving soon. They're getting along.

Because despite everything, Shintaro's relatively happy. Of course there's always something missing no matter what he does, of course he knows that no matter how much he tries to deny it, that something will always be Ayano. But at least, he came in terms with how sad he is. That's a step forward to be okay, he guesses.

He cares a lot about Haruka and Takane. He cares a lot about Fuyuha and Konoha. He cares a lot about his sister and his mother. He cares a lot about the rest of his friends.

"Shintaro-kun?"

"What?"

But there's someone who he can't bring himself to _want_  to care about and that's Kano. No matter how much Kano tries, no matter how much he's determined to make it right. Shintaro tells himself it'd be the same whether he's here or not. He just wonders what this is. He just wonders why on Earth they're kissing right now, not for the first time. Not even for the second time.

He's sure the sick feeling on his stomach is not what he should feel. So _why_  is it always this way? Why does it keep happening, and why does he keep letting it happen?

He shuts his eyes, but he doesn't push him away, repeating to himself what Takane tells him over and over, which is to admit feelings. He admitted he's sad. He admitted he misses Ayano. He admitted he regrets many things. He admitted that as much as he doesn't want to, he also cares about Kano. Perhaps not this way, though. But on the other hand, it could be this way.

He's too messed up to do anything about it, to think anything about it.

Kano's fun to be around. He can be nice when he wants to, and despite how inappropiate he can be, he's someone who will always be there for you unconditionally. He just has too many moods, too many faces. He's unhealthily stubborn and just like Shintaro, he's in too much need of attention.

In way too much need, he thinks, hugging him closer. Because he's never really thought of getting carried away or anything, it's just something that happens and then they cry together or just stop. They never talk about it; usually, it isn't even nice, it's just a thing, except that right now he isn't really feeling sad, and it's the first time he feels Kano smile against his mouth and he kind of ah, likes it? They're okay, even if Ayano's not in the picture, even if–

"Uncle Kano?"

Shintaro pushes Kano away almost violently, and the former makes the sound of some animal dying as he lands on the other side of the couch where he should have been. He barely has time to recover his breath as he forces a smile for Fuyuha standing at the door, holding her plushie against her chest.

"What's wrong? D – did you have a, err, nightmare?" he stands up and lets Kano alone to die in the couch, as he kneels down to her height. "A nightmare, is that it?"

"What's uncle Kano doing here? What was he doing?" she ignores his question completely, and her face lightens up before Shintaro could answer, "Are you his person in love now?"

It's his turn to ignore her question, "Did you have a bad dream or are you thirsty?"

It seems Fuyuha didn't care enough, because once he repeats it, she focuses all of her attention back on the reason she was here, "Bad dream. It's scary to know mom's not home to fight the monsters."

"We can fight them for her," Kano says, and Shintaro glares at him for still being alive. "How hard can it be?"

"No, only my mom knows how to do it," Fuyuha shakes her head, looking down to her bare feet. "You and uncle Shintaro will get bruises if you try to. Like my dad. He can't fight monsters either."

Shintaro won't ask how is it that Haruka got bruises from "fighting monsters" so he offers his hand to her, determined to bring her back to her room, "Okay, you don't have to worry because your mom's gonna be back soon so–"

Instead of taking his hand, Fuyuha reaches her arms out and makes grabby hands at him, so he sighs. Lamenting on how weak he is, he picks her up, feeling Kano's insistent eyes on his back until he disappears upstairs.

"Do you have a date with uncle Kano?"

"No."

"Okay."

Boy, if she's not pushing her question she must be actually scared. She hangs from his neck when he tries to put her down on the bed, but she lets go before he could say anything. She looks at him with a pout he doesn't see a lot in this bubbly girl, and desperately tries to remember any of Haruka's or Takane's comfort words,

"Um, your blankets protect you, so as long as you stay under them nothing can happen to you, okay?" as he can't remember any at all, he just makes something up. Fuyuha blinks in confusion. "Monsters can't even reach you in your dreams if you're under the blankets."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And when your mom arrives, she'll scare them away, so you don't need any blankets to protect you," he thinks it over again. "That doesn't mean you should sleep without your blankets when your mom's here though."

Fuyuha nods and slowly shuts her eyes, and he isn't sure if he should wait until she's actually asleep to go. He concludes that he prefers to stay rather than seeing Kano after all that. Normally it's not a problem to see him afterwards, but this time was different and now he feels different and _God_ , no thanks, he doesn't have enough emotional stability to deal with it.

It's not long until Fuyuha is asleep. Shintaro decides he'll simply go to the bathroom, splash his face with some water and come back down but obviously, when he leaves the room, Kano's waiting outside. He suddenly wants Fuyuha to wake up again or Konoha to start crying his lungs out.

He lets the door cracked open to let light come into her room, and rushes to get out of Kano's gaze, but he just laughs.

"What are you running away from? The monsters?" he asks, following him downstairs. Shintaro rolls his eyes and notices he has a headache; yes, of course he does, because Kano is a headache with physical form.

He's dizzy, too, and he knows this feeling far too well. He remembers feeling like this when Ayano smiled at him, for him. When she talked and laughed. But she was endearing and he masked her as annoying to cope with it. Kano? Kano's actually annoying. He's anywhere near endearing, he makes him sick. He just wants to go to bed. He wants Haruka and Takane to be back and tell him things are okay.

 _I am such a child_ , he tells himself, when Kano catches his lips on his again. He's just so tired. But it's not the kind of tired that will go away with a good night of sleep. But things aren't going anywhere. He wants to be okay. Shintaro stops him.

"Stop acting like you're taking advantage of me," he says, surprised by how smooth his voice sounded. Kano looks at him with nonplussed eyes that possibly are one of the most sincere expressions he's seen on him, as Shintaro desperately thinks of what to say next. "Y – you're as bad as I am, so face it and stop making me feel like shit."

It was the first time they've ever said anything about this. He was actually expecting Kano to agree, grab his things and leave. Then they'd only talk in meet-ups of the group that aren't even often, and maybe, they won't talk even then. Shintaro closes his eyes. He can't believe he's grown attached to him. He can't believe that because he opened his mouth, that was going to happen, or that it's so difficult to imagine starting his day without reading one of stupid texts.

Except, Kano doesn't leave. He looks down, and actually says, "I'm sorry."

He isn't sure which one of them is more confused. It's a little funny, so he can't help a smile that he uses to cope with how much he wants to cry because he's just too overwhelmed. Kano offers a laugh too, that sounds like nothing but fondness. He kind of wants to kiss him again, but they hug, and honestly that feels even better.

* * *

 

When he comes into the kitchen, he's welcomed by the not surprising but still horrifying sight of Haruka and Takane making out. Well, they aren't making out, and in fact that might be a little less gross than the giggling and tickling they have going on right now.

Not impressed, Shintaro just clears his throat, "Morning."

At the sound of his voice Takane immediately pushes Haruka in a way that reminded him of how he pushed Kano last night when Fuyuha appeared. Shintaro wrinkles his nose as he sits down, and wishes the thought away.

"Eh, good morning," she tries to sound casual, but there's evident embarrassment in both her voice and cheeks. Shintaro couldn't care less about it, but even after all this time it still kind of succeeds to make him awkward.

Especially when he realizes some of the buttons of her shirt are undone. He pleads his mind to _not go there_  as he just tries to sound as uninterested as he can as he gestures to her chest, "Your buttons, Takane."

Haruka immediately intervenes when Takane just looks like she'd punch him to cope with her embarrassment, "How did you sleep, Shintaro-kun?"

"Okay, I guess," he says, looking down at the cup of coffee Haruka placed in front of him. To go with the daily rutine, Shintaro feels guilty about having him not only make but also serve him breakfast. He sighs, "Did you guys have a good time?"

"Yeah, it was nice," when he looks at Takane again, her uniform shirt is decent again and she's busy with her coffee. She sounds fond as well, but fortunately they don't go into any details as she shoots back, "And you? How was _your_  night?"

She just sounded like she knew something. They're both looking at him like they know what he did, despite he hasn't really done anything wrong. Kano promised to go without letting them see him, so he shouldn't worry about him unless he decided to be a massive dick at the last moment and–

"Were the kids hard to handle?"

Oh. The kids. Of course. Yes, the kids he babysitted last night. Those kids' parents are asking about the night he babysitted them and it makes complete sense. Shintaro sighs in relief, "No, they were fine. I mean it could have been worse–"

"Are you okay, Shintaro-kun?" Haruka interrupts him, looking at him with concerned eyes. Takane shares the expression, so he just offers a confused face,

"...Yeah, why?"

"You just looked really nervous before answering."

Silence descends on them, and Shintaro can only panic again. This isn't going well.

He tries to focus on something else, on anything else. Like the kids. It's saturday, so they must be sleeping in and that's why they aren't here right now. Like his face, it still has signs of Fuyuha's doodles since he couldn't really wash it off completely. Anything but Kano.

Kano's not upstairs. He saw him leave. But what if they also saw him leave? Shintaro forces himself to speak,

"I'm not okay," he starts, and Haruka's and Takane's gazes only feel heavier. "But I promise I'm doing better. I'm working on it, alright? Just– just give me time."

He tries to dodge it like this, which wasn't a lie nor necessarely something unrelated. Plus, he wants to be honest; he doesn't want to ask anymore of them. They've done enough. Shintaro wants to be okay not only for himself but for them, because they deserve to know their friend's not thinking of suicide anymore.

"You don't have to do it alone, though," he isn't sure which one of them said it. He's too distracted and at this point, it could be either. "We're here for you."

Shintaro whispers that he knows it. He smiles because maybe that'll relieve them, and he gets their smiles back. They deserve so much. "Thank you for everything. I'm sorry I'm such a pain–"

"Is this because I've been kinda insistent with the freeloader joke? Because if that's the case I'm sorry," Takane goes, and Shintaro actually can't believe she dared to be sorry. He can't believe she's the same person he once hated. "Dude, we love you. You don't need to be alone."

She says it so casually, and at the same time communicates how much she means it anyway. He pushes back tears, since he just brought this up because he didn't want to think of Kano. But he didn't only fail, but he's facing the fact that he's still broken.

So he just nods, and Haruka and Takane share a look. They seem to be having some sort of conversation through them, as if they were taking the chance to talk about something. Before Shintaro could ask anything, Haruka speaks up,

"We wanted to ask you..." he pauses and steals a glance of Takane as he says, "If Kano-kun has anything to do with this."

He almost chokes on his own air when he hears the name and sees how _serious_  they are being. This is so not going like he wanted it to, and even if that is no surprise, Shintaro doesn't hate it any less.

He stutters a bit, along the words of "what", "why" and some other gibberish Shintaro himself didn't know how to identify. He takes a deep breath a doesn't answer the best way, but it's at least understandable, "W – why do you ask?"

"Well, you do spend a lot of time with him and he's very present in your life, so..."

What did they know? For how long have they known what they know? Do they even know anything at all? Shintaro gulps when Takane cuts Haruka off to say, "We saw his boots at the door when we came back last night."

And then there's silence again. Awkward. So, so awkward. It's like talking about sex with his parents. Ugh, did he just call Haruka and Takane his parents? This was just getting worse and worse.

"W – we don't want to force you to tell us anything! We're just worried," Haruka quickly tries to break the silence. "It's okay if you don't want to talk, but we'd appreciate if you told us if something was going on."

"As long as you want us to know," Takane adds, her husband nodding in agreement at her words. "We aren't gonna ask you to tell us _everything_. Just... if it's something we could help with."

They sound so incredibly awkward. Like they were talking to their child about sex. He doesn't even stop to tell himself this is terrible anymore because he _knows_  what they're implying he "did." He just worries if they heard something. If they ran into Kano. If Kano told them anything.

His head hurts.

Shintaro's face almost hurts when he, again, forces a smile and says, "Nothing you should know about is going on."

And he didn't even lie.

Haruka and Takane smile. They look relieved, but he knows they're still not convinced. He looks at his already cold cup of coffee when Takane announces she should be going unless she wants to be late for work. He sighs. They're back to normal.

She kisses Haruka goodbye, she pushes Shintaro lightly when she walks by. Except that she doesn't leave without saying,

"See you nerds later. And Shintaro, by the way," she stands at the kitchen's door, a still very uncomfortable smile tugging at her lips. "...You have a hickey."

Shintaro immediately brings his hands to cover up his neck and starts feeling his skin as if he could see with his tact where was it. Takane leaves, her awkwardness still evident even with her absence, and he's left alone with Haruka.

The other man shoots his embarrassed eyes down to today's newspaper's crossword, playing nervously with the pen he was using so he didn't have to look at Shintaro's asking-for-death expression.

He just drinks his cold coffee. It's gross. His phone buzzes, and it's Kano asking if he's free today.


End file.
